March 25, 2013

Thoughts on gay marriage

My day started out very simple and without too much thought of anything of great consequence. I went to work. I came home. Bryce and I romped around for a while. Then, just before dinner, Heather shared an interesting article with me. I read through it as I enjoyed some leftover lasagna. There wasn't much of a chance for anything to digest before it was time to take Bryce sledding for- let's be honest- hopefully the last time this season. (Spring come soon, please!)

For the most part, the article was out of my mind and we had a good, carefree time. The melt-freeze-melt-freeze-melt-freeze-again snow did wonders for Mr. Mu, giving us some great rides but shoddy snowballs.


We came in a little late and by the time teeth-brushing, diaper-changing, story-telling, song-singing, prayer-praying, hugging and kissing were over, it was about 45 minutes past bedtime. Hopefully Bryce will forgive us someday.


Lately, Heather and I have filled a lot of that quiet time after Bryce is down unplugging from reality and watching Merlin on Netflix. That would've been fun, but that's not what happened tonight.


We've been getting these emails from protectmarriage.com. I can't say we read them very thoroughly. They usually say something like, marriage is important, it's under attack, and we need money for the legal battle to defend Prop 8 in the Supreme Court. We know that and we have kind of tuned them out because of the redundancy of it all (a little like the emails we used to get from the Romney campaign). It's still nice to get little reminders here and there about an issue we do really care about. I guess tomorrow is a pretty big day. The Supreme Court will finally hear oral arguments on the matter. The email we got today had what you could call a sneak peak of what Andy Pugno, General Counsel for Protect Marriage, will tell the judges tomorrow. When I last checked the video had only two hundred views and two of them were mine. I suppose many people have begun to check out of the conversation.


For a refresher, I went to lds.org to remind myself of what the Mormon church has to say about same-sex marriage. What I found resonated with my core.  This part in particular struck a chord:

"The Church has advocated for rights for same-sex couples regarding “hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches.”7 In Salt Lake City, for example, the Church supported ordinances aimed at protecting gay residents from discrimination in housing and employment."

I also revisited an interview of Elder Oaks and Wickman. I found the answer to this question very compelling: "Let’s say my 17-year-old son comes to talk to me and, after a great deal of difficulty trying to get it out, tells me that he believes that he’s attracted to men — that he has no interest and never has had any interest in girls. He believes he’s probably gay. He says that he’s tried to suppress these feelings. He’s remained celibate, but he realizes that his feelings are going to be devastating to the family because we’ve always talked about his Church mission, about his temple marriage and all those kinds of things. He just feels he can’t live what he thinks is a lie any longer, and so he comes in this very upset and depressed manner. What do I tell him as a parent?"


I couldn't help but consider how that conversation would go between me and any of my kids. I couldn't think about that long before recalling the stories shared on mormonsandgays.org.


It's getting late and Heather is being really patient with me still being up (sleep is a rare commodity with a newborn, so I'll try to finish up quickly).

 
My surfing took me a couple more places, but the most interesting was a little video, Attacked by Tolerance. The thing that fascinated me most was how quickly its comments evolved into a conversation very similar to the one shown in the documentary-- something I've seen echoed time and time again, with article after article on the issue. Something I half suspect will happen to my blog now that I've mentioned the words "gay marriage". This is a deeply personal issue because it has to do with peoples' beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. It's a tough conversation to bring up with friends, let alone strangers.


However, if there's anything I've learned from my relationships with others, it's that open, honest and respectful communication is the only way to a successful home, workplace, and community. When people share how they really feel about something, they give you a gift, especially when their experience and perspective differ from your own. They open you up to a world beyond yourself-- a world worth living.

I am a Mormon and fully support the stance modern-day prophets have shared concerning gay marriage. I am friends with several people who experience same-sex attraction (some who act on the inclination, others who don't). I am in no place to judge their personal character, just as they are in no place to judge mine. I love them and have learned much from them. I have felt love and respect from them.  It is impossible to say who started the civility, but together, we maintain it.


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2 comments:

  1. It's not as important what people say as it is what God says in His Word. The account of Sodom and Gomorrah, also in Romans 1st chapter are very clear. People who are not in control of their emotions feelings etc. are highly at risk as far as accuracy. The more you see and allow yourself to be subjected to homosexuality, which is forced upon us left and right, the more you begin to think it's not such a bad idea. Eve was deceived because of this. She first responded by considering the Devils suggestion instead of what God said to her. "Thou shalt not eat of it". Homosexuality does not produce fruit. You can't have children which is a blessing from God in a marriage of a man and a woman. God told them to "be fruitful and multiply". Many have been led away by their own willingness to consider their own ideas or someone else's opinions above what God has said. But God has stood the test of time and will stand the test of time no matter what. What God says He means and He does not change His mind. God allowed us a wonderful and loving freedom. The freedom to choose. I do not have the right to judge people but I do have the right to make a choice according to what God has taught me about His Word. The ages change and people's opinions change about what God says but the wonderful thing about that is God wrote His Word in a book called "The Bible"...and God said let their be light, and their was light. The integrity of God's Word is always at stake in your life. Lack of that causes destruction. God says in Jer.2:13 For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. God's love is massive and in no wise would I intentionally be unloving or unkind to someone who is a homosexual or lesbian but I surely do not agree with their manner of life nor do I condone it. This country was based on Christian principles not amendments to change and alter what was originally written. The more rules and regulations the less freedom you have. If my son or daughter chose that lifestyle, I would not love them any less. I would do all I could to help and bless them. But I would not support gay or lesbian relationships any more than I would worship a golden image. I do support their God given freedom to choose but I do not support any amendment or law or regulation to make me accept that life style because God has said.

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  2. Thoughts on Gay Marriage

    I do not believe all laws are moral. It is my choice not to participate in activities that are legal but in my opinion are wrong, even immoral. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What a Satanic lie that is.

    The odd truth is that current law is really an expression of an opinion, and opinions as well as laws can change. Ever increasing tolerance over an issue can alter the public perception and acceptance. What had been offensive and immoral at one time has become accepted in another. Gradual exposure and acceptance of an issue does not turn immorality into morality. The act only becomes legal, but not moral.

    I believe in HATE… I believe that if I move from hating the sin and begin tolerating it then I am only one step away from participating in that sin… Hating the sin is the safe place… I just don’t hate the sinner. I don’t hate the sinner because I know that I too am not perfect. We are all fellow sinners in one way or another. We are all in need of repentance and a loving Savior, Jesus Christ.

    We live in an age of becoming tolerant towards one another. For the most part tolerance is very good. There is a downside to tolerance when it is not applied to moral behavior. I believe homosexuality is an immoral behavior. I oppose the teaching of homosexual behavior as a “normal” condition of the human experience. I oppose the idea that I need to accept homosexuality and heterosexuality as equally correct.
    Are you a meat eater or a vegetarian, both are ok.

    What would I tell my son that loves another guy… I would tell him that I love other guys too… But I feel that having sex with them is wrong and immoral. I would tell him that he will have to choose between sexual purity and sexual sin. Choose what you want, then live with your choice. I would tell him that I would not approve of any of his actions that would not permit him to be eternally happy, but that I would still love him.

    I do not believe that God is swayed by public opinion or is slowly changed or an ever increasing tolerance for that which was wrong. God did not say that it was wrong for two men to love each other. However, it is wrong to have homosexual relations. Sexual sin is sexual sin… whether gay or not. The result is the same. Having hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights have nothing to do with sexual sin. Being fair with these issues is a part of equal rights. But redefining marriage is not a part of equal rights.

    When it comes to Gay and Lesbian marriage… I feel that God has spoken and he has set the standard for what marriage is. I will be on the side that he has prescribed; Marriage is between a man and a woman.

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